What I've discovered in these final few days before my wedding is...

that everyone loves a bride:
- my mom has never been sweeter...gone are the "you don't do anything around the house" lectures...gone also are the "you wake up so late and take a bath even later -- ergo, you are not a 'brahmin' girl at all" lectures...

- friends are sweeter too...you can wilfully make someone get out of office on a busy day so they can help you decide on your wedding reception outfit and not be given grief for it later...

- aunts and uncles will call up and volunteer help, even the ones you haven't really spent a lot of time with, recently...you of course then mentally decide that you will be a better niece in the future...

- you can shop till you drop and not be made to feel guilty (that's of course the best part)! you of course have to be strong enough to ignore the saner voices around you who very sweetly explain what moderation means ;)

sigh...my only regret is that all the outpouring of love and tlc will normalise once the wedding is done...and even worse, i'll actually be expected to behave like a full-fledged adult finally ;)

anyway, these days i can barely keep myself from smiling all through the day in what i guess must be a very irritating way...the more practical/experienced voices around me assure me that i'll land back on earth with a terrific thud after marriage and will promptly do away with the rose-tinted glasses once the boyfriend/fiance becomes a husband...i know they're right (the thousand odd married women saying this can't be wrong!)...but for now, i finally know what bliss is :D

Pay it forward - The new twist in the tale

Being sarcastic doesn't come to me naturally. I usually stagger after taking a hit, and try to make a come-back after a couple of seconds, if at all. So, the new year resolution from now on, and for the coming new year, will be to focus on "paying it forward", so to say...

Situation 1 (that recently happened to me):
Nasty boss: (on seeing me in office again, a day after my "official" last day at work): Oh, you're back (said with nasty/patronising overtones...)

Moi: (deflated, but trying to rally around desperately): Ya, I'm back with a bang!!! (how lame can one get :( )

So, I was wondering, what would have been a good response here? Let's take a few re-takes:
Nasty boss: Oh you're back!
Moi: Yes, it's really me! Believe! (has to be said with just the right air of patronization, else one may sound like a lunatic.)

Nasty boss: Oh you're back!
Moi: I'm not glad to see you too. But hey, we don't always get what we like. Deal with it. (this one could do with some subtlety, and can only be carried off if one is reallllly pissed off.)

Situation 2 (since it's not too great for my ego to try and remember my past slights, I'm going to use a situation that happened to someone else I know...):
Friend: (confronting another female who she knows has been talking about her nastily, behind her back): Have you girls been talking about me?
Bitchy no-gooder: No, the subject is not interesting enough. (Ouchh!)

Now, I know Friend's question was a classic invitation for sarcasm. What the heck, though -- she may have dug her own grave, but should at least be able to get out of it. What could Friend have said? Let's see:
Friend: Have you girls been talking about me?
Bitchy no-gooder: No, the subject is not interesting enough.
Friend: Guess it's less interesting than your routine subject of who's upper lip is less hairy.

Friend: Have you girls been talking about me?
Bitchy no-gooder: No, the subject is not interesting enough.
Friend: It reflects very well on me if dumb coots like you don't find me interesting (well, may not be the wittiest response, but some response is better than none, huh?).

Any interesting suggestions? Do give your two cents and help the world of the sarcasm-challenged :P