Rozi’s Art of Looking Busy (Convincingly)

Have a very sweet and scatterbrained pal, Rozi. Rozi is one of those laidback souls who completely go with the flow. I've always had the feeling that if God were to grant her a wish, it would be too much of a bother for her to think of one. She'd instead ask him to give her whatever he saw fit. And if God were a mischievous entity and suggested spending a day as a man with a pub-hopping urge in Afghanistan, I suspect she'd agree sagely to that too.

But Rozi's most noteworthy peculiarity was that she'd do as little work as possible in office. And yet, when the girl would walk around, she'd make sure she had a harassed look (defense against more work). She'd fling one hand over her eye and drag it slowly down her face in an action that signified a poor, overworked soul, wiping her tired face. This sight always cheered me up. Here was someone who had perfected the art of beating the system. Sometimes, she would get versatile and talk very softly, like she were dying of exhaustion.

After observing her in awed appreciation several times, I decided to try this myself. But I soon realized it takes practice and genius to perfect an art like hers…Coz when I wiped my face in slow motion, my boss thought I had gathered grime from a lack of bathing...when I spoke softly (thinking it would shame even the most heart-broken Greek tragedian), my boss got irritated and said I was mumbling like a dimwit!

Anyway, for those of you inspired enough to try out a few "Rozisms", lemme quickly tell you a few more tricks she used: when your boss asks you how much work you have on your plate on a day, you NEVER give the correct answer…multiply the actual words you can think of with 25, and then talk fast without pausing about all you need to do that day (and that week/month…or year, if the boss is a particularly bad listener).

When you have more than one project on hand, announce it to everyone and anything (yes, even to the flowerpot next to your PC. That way, people pity you and let you off the hook). And wear baggy clothes. It makes people think you've lost weight from all that working. If this helps, bless Rozi, giver of light and wisdom!